Schooling Central

We were so pleased that the school agreed to let our son (in grade 1) into the top 1/2 maths group where they do grade 3 level maths. From what he has told us it seems to be aimed at just the right level for him. The last week, however, he has been coming home from school in a fairly agitated kind of mood (which used to always be the way, but we see less and less of this behaviour now). I wondered if it was just a bit of stress from the first week back at school, or maybe something going on at lunchtime with his friends. It turns out he isn't enjoying the maths class and wants to go back to the one he used to be in Just when I thought we had things right!

The class he left had several grade 2 boys from his 1/2 composite class in the old class, and recently a couple of grade 1 kids from other classes as well. Plus it was in his own classroom with his class teacher, so it was socially very comfortable for him (there is a vertical maths structure at the school so the majority of kids don't have maths within their normal classroom, it just turned out that he did). The new classroom has no other grade 1 kids, and no grade 2 kids from his own class, and the maths is really much more challenging than it was in the group below. He is keeping up with the maths, but not performing as well as the other kids, or as well as we see him do at home.

After seeing him cry and tell me he hated maths and wanted to go back to his old class I was tempted to do just that for him. But the whole reason we wanted him in that group is because he doesn't handle a challenge well, and really needs to work at finding the confidence to persevere with a difficult task rather than running away from it. So we are going to keep him there and will work with him on strategies to improve the situation. He can bring his unfinished worksheets home so that we can finish them off together and go over any concepts he is not confident with, and I am encouraging him to put his hand up and ask questions when he is unsure of what to do (we think understanding the written questions may be the biggest problem). We are presenting this to him as a big challenge that he is capable of overcoming, and so far he seems to feel much more comfortable about the whole maths issue.

It's so hard to get things right. He is only 6, and I don't want him to be unnecessarily stressed at school. On the other hand I see other kids having to work hard in class and I am concerned of the consequences of things always coming very easily for him.

Hopefully things will improve -I will update after a couple of weeks!

Annabel.

Dear Annabel,
I feel for you but i do think you are doing the right thing. It is really important for kids to learn that they have to try to do their "best work" ( as we call it at home) rather than assuming that everything is easy and nothing is worth trying at. We were in a situation last year where my son was in grade 2 and said to not be "able to cope" in the top maths group at school, while we were doing year 5 and 6 maths at home with ease, enthusiasm and joy. He had learned that he only learned interesting stuff at home, and that school was for staring out the window and day dreaming.
I don't think your son's reaction is so surprising. He's only little, he is in a new class, he does not know the other kids, the maths is suddenly challenging to the point where he needs to think about it, maybe for the first time? I would be surprised if he was not a bit unsettled.
My son's reaction was similar when he was moved into his new school, grade skipped, and put in the top maths group. I was naturally thrilled by this, and was surprised and disappointed to hear that he found the maths "too hard" at first (after I had put so much effort into convincing everyone how good he was at maths!!). But now, a few weeks in, he is really flying!
I look forward to hearing your update and I bet it will be that it will be that he is much happier in his new maths class.

Here is what my son (7) says about this post..."He is probably nervous because so many people want the right answer, and in his house the maths is private, and other people are not watching. So in his new class he is not confident. My advice is to ignore the other people and pay attention to the teacher and do your best work. This happened to me to when I went into my new maths class and now I like it cos the maths is nice and hard and I get special work that the other people don't do. "


Happymum

Thanks for the words of encouragement -I appreciate it. I spoke to ds before he went to sleep tonight and gave him a good pep talk about how he needs to make the best of the situation even though it hasn't turned out exactly as he wanted it (he's still disappointed that the teacher won't let me into the classroom to help). I told him to concentrate on doing his own work, and not to worry about what the others were doing, or what answers they were getting (some wise words form your son happymum!), and to remember that he CAN do it. He seemed much more at peace about the whole thing (although it's easier to feel at peace when you're snuggled up in bed next to mummy lol!). It's certainly an improvement from "I hate maths and I will not go back to that maths class" which is what we had on Friday. Fingers crossed for this week!

Annabel.

A quick update. Ds seems much more comfortable with the new maths class now It turns out there is one boy from his 1/2 class who is in his maths class, and they walk over to the classroom together, which I think he appreciates. The maths is still challenging, but ds seems to be managing, and he told us today that he put his hand up in class to answer a question for the first time

School still has its ups and downs, but it is certainly a relief to know that he is being provided with the appropriate educational material. I'm really hoping that his confidence will continue to grow and he will one day enjoy maths at school as much as he does at home. There's no harm in dreaming is there?!!

Annabel.

That's great news Annabel! What a relief. I'm sure his confidence will continue to grow.

My Mathsy son has been picked to go to a Gateways day for maths at a different primary school. Can't wait to see how it goes.

Our kids are so lucky, when I was at school the gifted programme was, "If you are finished can you help Johnny with his reading?"

happymum

Good news about your son being picked for the Gateways program. I'd be very interested to hear what kind of things they do, and how he enjoys it.

You're right our kids are lucky to have their academic needs taken seriously. They seem however to be the lucky few. I was just commenting to dh about how frustrating it is that so few schools offer the kind of maths program available at ds's school (where the maths classes are streamed across year levels). We have looked at several good quality public and private schools in the local area which offer all sorts of interesting programs. But none of them can match the simple but effective maths program on offer at ds's current school, and for us that makes it extremely difficult to contemplate other schools, even with their fancy programs.

Annabel.

Hi Annabel,
Great to hear ds is doing better. I understand your thoughts on the vertical maths when comparing alternative schools. We too wonder everyday if there are better schools, hopefully we'll hear more about that from interested parents on the forum.

Hi TMCR,
It sounds like you are not too happy with your child's school, can you tell us what the issues are?

My son has been to three schools now (at the tender age of 7 as we were moving around the world) and we are now thankfully really happy with his current school after some bad experiences.

We had a meeting this week about his IEP. Most of the goals this far have been about trust, social and organisational issues (due to the bad time he had in other schools with other teachers and bullying and .. well he has organisational issues ) but he has achieved many of his goals and now his teacher is ready to move on to setting some academic goals in his June IEP review. So we were happy with that.

His teacher has also set him and some other gifted kids a project to complete about dinosaurs. This will be a real test of his self starting and planning abilities. Tonight we did some reading about the extinction and also his favourite predinosaur creatures. (it is supposed to be on DINOSAURS but he tells me this is OK?? I am trying not to drive this and interfere.) He has now enthusiastically rummaged through the bookshelves off his own bat and dug out a collection of dinosaur books to take to school tomorrow to show his teacher. SO i am hoping he will take up the project and run with it.

The other issue coming up is that of presentation, he was always a reluctant writer and now that the kids are a year older than him his poor presentation skills are becoming more apparent. He does not see that this is in any way important unfortunately.

He is enjoying maths at school for the first time ever and working at 2-3 years above age level with kids of similar ability in his own classroom, and loving the current unit on different forms of energy; he has always been very interested in the physical sciences side of things. Hooray, such a relief to not be complaining!!!!!

Happymum

Hi Happymum,
You are spot on that I am not happy with our school. I think if the school had not sung from the rooftops about all the gifted focus it had I wouldn't feel so bad, but because they make so many claims that I have not seen in action I am particularly cross. This school also is getting a reputation that it is the place to take children with specific problems that affect their learning, examples are ADD, mild cases of autism, aspergers etc. Don't get me wrong, if I had a child with these issues to surmount I too would want to get them in the school that can commit to offering some 'real' help. The good news for those parents is the school does offer real help, in fact so many resources go into this cohort of students that I am watching before my very eyes the very large population of CHIP (Children of High Intellectual Potential) left to fend for themselves somewhat.

So as most could imagine, these two extremes in one classroom is a nightmare for a teacher to manage. We know that the teacher's performance measures and in fact their duty is to ensure all children meet the benchmarks, to do this requires struggling students to have one on one teacher interaction almost constantly. Where does this leave the CHIP?

I really shouldn't respond to this today as I am particularly unhappy and am just in such a negative place about the school....the academic side of things is not the only issue, the demographic, the school council, the school principle, the school community, the school grounds, the school upkeep, the school culture....mostly all bad.

We have moved house so often and it pains me to even consider trotting off to another school causing more instability...but it is also easy to not trot off to another school because I honestly believe there is no school that can deliver on the expectations that I have. I wish I could buy what I want in a private school but I have not heard of anyone who is all together happy in that scenario either and it is a lot of money to fork out if they don't deliver! In fact we have had parents bring their children to this school having taken them out of private as they were not getting the extension they were looking for. I am pretty sure they have realised that it also isn't delivered in any real way at our school either but hey atleast they're financially better off.

I am at my wits end and have spoken to a couple of other mums today at school about their CHIP kids and how they feel. The feeling I got from them was one of resigning to the fact that things just are not going to be the way we want. That is where I am at, I am at the give in to it stage. If it was a normal everyday school with a typical academic bell curve within the classroom I would be happy to just go down the path of extra tuition outside of school...however, the nagging at the back of my mind is the two extremes within the school that is only going to keep growing. Our bell curve I would think is actually upside down if that makes sense. I probably am not making sense actually.

Sorry to be so down about it all...that certainly is a no no at our school to even start talking about issues is just not done, not in any public fashion anyway and certainly not raised to the principle etc. The response there would be defensive and 'you are wrong' anyway based on experience..... I had better sign off now before I really say what I think, LOL!

Dear TMCR,
Just foolishly lost my reply mucking around with emoticons!!

I can really sympathise, I would be very disappointed indeed if a school i had moved to or chosen due to its gifted focus was less than impressive on its delivery of the gifted programme.
I have been where you are, deflated and defeated by constant and universally unsuccessful lobbying ( I also got labelled as being a mad pushy mother but that is another story) and it is very crushing. This was in ENgland and we actually left to come back to Aus where we were SO LUCKY to find the school we are at now with help from a gifted forum online. It's a shame that it is hard to find good schools as it is all a bit of a secret. People are afraid to speak out for obvious reasons.
It seems to me though that you are in a bit of a powerful position though it may not feel like it.....
It sounds like you have a groundswell of opinion from other parents that the CHIP programme is faded and insufficient. The school has a reputation which I imagine it is keen to protect as being good for gifted kids. Could you get together a gifted parent's group or forum to discuss the situation? Then take your concerns to the principal? If there are several parents involved it will be very hard for you to be dismissed as troublemakers. If things are as bad as they seem you have little to lose.
Of course if the school now has a pervasively negative culture as you allude to then the lobbying may not work. BUt then maybe your efforts will provide some guidance for other new parents when they come to choose their new school for their gifted kids.

I think as a parent that has recently been desperately (and i really was desperate, I had begun to think that my son would not be able to go to a "normal school" things were so bad) looking for a school that managed gifted children well, that if you have fairly stated your issues to the powers that be and they have not addressed them, then it is fair enough to remove your child from the school and put that information in as balanced a way as possible into the public domain so that people can make an informed choice about their child's school.

Another thought, has your child been seen by CHIP? I have not met them but I know of others that have used their services and been impressed, and they can give guidance about school placement too. That would also be likely to be of benefit in lobbying the school if your child's educational needs are said by a gifted professional to be not being met.
Anyway, my sympathies, please keep in touch and let us know how you are going!

happymum (once was miserabledepressedmadpushymum)